Wednesday, April 14, 2010

life in flux with balance

we got married in june of 2004, bought our first home in august 2005, got a puppy in december 2005, and we had decided that we were ready for children. it sounds like we had it all planned out, right? well, it seems like that single thought manifested itself into a little being because what felt like literally the next day .... ava was on her way.
so, even though we had thought that everything was planned out and we could totally handle changing diapers, calming cries, rocking a child, singing sweet lullibies, staying up all hours of the day.....but, at the same time it all felt like it was happening too fast. when you become a parent for the first time, your whole world changes. it’s the KING of all adjustments.
the day i found out i was pregnant, my whole world changed. from the outside looking in you wouldn't have known it; but, inside my heart and mind were racing. ever since that day i feel like i have been living life in flux----going whereever the wind blows.

honestly, isn't that the way it's supposed to be. sure you can shape your child into your own routine and lifestyle but, they have ideas of their own and they are not shy about expressing their concerns. i love my children dearly and i want them to be confident, caring citizens of the world all the way down to their own backyard. so making the most of our time together is extremely important. "Unconditional love and acceptance are the roots of self-esteem."says child development expert Michele Borba, EdD, author of Esteem Builders.
the best things you can do with your child:
spend time with her
pay attention to her feelings
goof off...make baby laugh
stay least until she feels safe
explore their world....while goofing off, loving, and listening to them

WHAT ABOUT ME? what do i like to do besides being a mom? that one role can easily take over your whole life and you can forget the you you once were or the you you want to be.  i love my kids and husband more than words can express, but by never making time for ME, i was not at my best for them or myself. That’s when I knew that I needed to strive for a little more balance in my life.

how many of us really make time for ourselves apart from doing dishes, laundry and bills after the kids go to bed and it is quiet in the house. when you spend all your time doing for others you may feel resentful or angry or just plain worn out. maybe you’re a stay at home parent, or a work at home parent, or maybe a work outside the home parent. whichever path you’re on, it’s tough to find the balance that makes you fulfilled and happy, and not get bogged down in the guilt that can come from doing something for yourself instead of spending time with your family.
The thing is, though, that you are part of the glue that holds your family together. When you take time to go out with friends or your partner, or just sit in the silence and read that book you’ve been meaning to get to – you are taking care of yourself and making your family stronger. 
i started by remembering the things that i enjoy in life. sewing, photography, hanging out with friends eating, drinking, and watching movies. somethings don't go away like the bills and the emails that i would like to return and the blogs i would like to write but, i set a time limit and when that's over i head up to spend time with my hubby. the biggest obstacle that i had was believing that things at home COULD go on without me----and they did!!!
so, our life in flux continues. paul just started a new job on monday. the kids started swim lessons on tuesday. i started gardening on wednesday.

there is so much to appreciate in life. it’s all about finding the right balance.

1 comment:

  1. Nice real and so true. The quest for balance is definitely a daily one. Looks like you have found the secret to balance, seeing happiness in small wonders.


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